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6 – Parent Roots (Pt 1)

Playlist

Pat Barrett “Build My Life”
Brandon Heath, “Faith Hope Love Repeat” 
The Neverclaim, “Steal Their Hearts”  
Finding Favour, Be Like You

Encouraging Scripture

Psalm 78:1-8 My people, hear my teaching; listen to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth with a parable; I will utter hidden things, things from of old—things we have heard and known, things our ancestors have told us. We will not hide them from their descendants; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done. He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our ancestors to teach their children, so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands. They would not be like their ancestors—a stubborn and rebellious generation, whose hearts were not loyal to God, whose spirits were not faithful to him.
Matthew 6:33  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 
Proverbs 3:1-12 My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity. Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes, fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine. My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.   
Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. 
Titus 2:2-8 Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled,and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.       Hebrews 12:7-11  Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peacefor those who have been trained by it.

Resources

Articles:
“Effects of Toxic Parenting: 5 Steps for Healing” Alison Cook, PhD, https://www.alisoncookphd.com/effects-of-toxic-parents-5-steps-healing/
“Enmeshed Family – 6 Signs of Toxic Behavior” by Alison Cook, PhD,  https://www.alisoncookphd.com/enmeshed-family-6-signs-toxic-behavior/
Book: 
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessell van der Kolk, MD

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5 – Your Story

Lesson video by John Witte

Click here

Playlist

Big Daddy Weave “My Story”
Tauren Wells “God’s Not Done With You”
Laura Story “Blessings”
Passion “Bigger Than I Thought”
Unspoken “Life My Life Up”

Encouraging Scripture

Ecclesiastes 3:1-22
Acts 20:28 Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God, which he bought with his own blood.
Hebrews 12:10-13 They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.  “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.
James 1:2-3 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.
1 Peter 1:8-9 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy or you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
1 Peter 3:13-18 Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.” But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answerto everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit.

Resources

Articles:                                                   
“6 Reasons Why Your Story Matters by Life in the Spacious Place” https://lifeinthespaciousplace.wordpress.com/2017/06/26/6-reasons-why-your-story-matters/
“The Key to the Christian’s Joy” by R C Sproul https://www.ligonier.org/blog/key-christians-joy/ 
“3 Reasons Your Joy Matters (And Isn’t Just About You)” by Melissa Kruger https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/melissa-kruger/3-reasons-your-joy-matters-and-isnt-just-about-you/

Story Counseling for you or your company: https://istoriaproject.org

Seasons video: California Academy of Science, 3 min 16 sec: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgHmqv_-UbQ

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4 – Worst Ways vs Wise Ways

Link for Opening Video

Basics of Great Garden Soil by Burpee Gardens here

Playlist

Gungor, “Beautiful Things”
Hawk Nelson, “Diamonds”
Casting Crowns, “Who Am I”
Colton Dixon, “Identity”
Jeremy Camp, “Christ in Me”
Chris August, “Starry Nights”
Bethel Music, “I’m Chasing You”

Encouraging Scripture

2 Corinthians 5:17  Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
Galatians 2:20  I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.
Galatians 5:16  So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.
Ephesians 2:10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
Colossians 3:1-2  Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

Resources

Activity: After this lesson, If you need more time in prayer about this topic, consider journaling a prayer to God telling him what hurts and poor patterns continue to surface. Ask Him for help and let Him know you are ready and open to learning. Pray using the open hands concept: Allow God to take what He needs to accomplish these changes. And, allow God to give you what you need to change habits. Consider sealing this envelope. Either pass it on to your mentor to hold, or set it in a safe place until you finish Cultivate.

Articles: 
“8 Misconceptions about God that are Holding You Back” https://www.beliefnet.com/faiths/christianity/8-misconceptions-about-god-that-are-holding-you-back.aspx
“Put On the New Person” https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/put-on-the-new-person

Study to consider: Alpha Course, https://www.alpha.org

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3 – Concentric Circles

Playlist

Newsboys, “We Believe”
Jesus Culture “Make Us One”
Rend Collective, “Build Your Kingdom Here”
Toby Mac, “Speak Life”
Building 429, “We Won’t Be Shaken”

Encouraging Scripture

Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.
Proverbs 18:24  A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 27:6  Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.
Ecclesiastes 4:12  A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
1 Corinthians 13 (Full chapter on Love)
1 Corinthians 15:33  Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.”
Hebrews 10:24-25 Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.
1 Peter 4:8  Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.

Resources

Articles:
John Maxwell “Law of Environment”
Alison Cook: “Setting Boundaries with Friends”                                          Jordan Harbinger Show: “7 Signs It’s Time to Cut a Toxic Person”
Books:
Boundaries by Henry Cloud & John Townsend
Boundaries for Your Soul: How to Turn Your Overwhelming Thoughts and Feelings into Your Greatest Allies by Alison Cook & Kim Miller
When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People by Gary Thomas

Other Considerations

Creative Writing by Amy Burgin, Christgazer blog: “Rejoice, You Are Easily Molded” https://amyburgin.com/2020/09/05/rejoice-you-are-easily-molded/

More about relationships. As you become more aware of relationships in your life, you might wonder how to make better decisions in the future. Although this isn’t attributed to anyone in particular, this short list of “Five Ways Not to be Used” might be helpful as you think more analytically about relationships. You might set other guidelines as well.

  1. Believe patterns, not apologies.
  2. Don’t fall in love with potential.
  3. Believe red flags.
  4. Know your worth.
  5. Don’t lower your standards.

Environments.As you get better at pruning, other areas of your life can be evaluated. For example, do you listen to music? Most of us listen to music on our commutes, at our desks, on our phones… When it’s quiet, do you ever find yourself humming a catchy tune or singing the chorus that’s not playing in your environment at the moment? Songs can get stuck in our heads, right? Have you taken time to read the lyrics to the songs you find rolling through your mind? Are these the messages you want repeating and become part of your patterns? Like repetitive advertisements permeate our thoughts and impact our purchasing decisions, musical messages infiltrate our perspectives. These themes become incorporated into our lives as we believe the messages through emotion and/or repetition.
Consider all of your environments: Home, work, transportation, and so on. What is the climate in those areas? Besides music, are there other factors that can be positive, neutral, or detrimental to our well-being?

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2 – Personal Profile

Playlist

Chris Tomlin, “Light of the World”
Jesus Culture, “Light of Your Face”
Toby Mac, “Love Broke Through”
Francesca Battistelli, “Beautiful”
Steven Curtis Chapman, “Do Everything”

Encouraging Scripture

2 Samuel 22:29-37  You, Lord, are my lamp; the Lord turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall. As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless;  he shields all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength  and keeps my way secure. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he causes me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You make your saving help my shield; your help has made me great. You provide a broad path for my feet, so that my ankles do not give way.
Psalm 119:105  Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.
Proverbs 3:5-6  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Jeremiah 29:11-13a  “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord.
Isaiah 42:16 I will lead blind Israel down a new path, guiding them along an unfamiliar way. I will brighten the darkness before them and smooth out the road ahead of them. Yes, I will indeed do these things; I will not forsake them.
Isaiah 58:8 Then your salvation will come like the dawn, and your wounds will quickly heal. Your godliness will lead you forward, and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind.
Matthew 6:22-23 Your eye is like a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is filled with light. But when your eye is unhealthy, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!
John 1:5  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it. 
John 10:10  Jesus said, “My purpose is to give life in all its fullness.”
Romans 12:2  Don’t let the world around you squeeze you into its own mold, but let God remake you so that your whole attitude of mind is changed.
2 Corinthians 4:7-8  But this precious treasure — this light and power that now shine within us — is held in a perishable container, that is, in our weak bodies. Everyone can see that the glorious power within must be from God and is not our own. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed and broken. We are perplexed because we don’t know why things happen as they do, but we don’t give up and quit.
1 Peter 2:9 But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.

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1 – Intro

Link for mid-lesson video

“UNSTUCK, The Hand Model of the brain” by Inspired Living Medical here

Playlist

Matthew West, “Truth Be Told”
Blanca, “Run to the River”
Francesca Battistelli, “If We’re Honest”
Matthew West, “Mended”
Leeland, “Way Maker”
Matthew West, “Day One”
Jeremy Camp, “Keep Me in the Moment”
Danny Gokey, “The Comeback”

Encouraging Scripture

Deuteronomy 30: 19-20a  This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him.
2 Samuel 22:29-37  You, Lord, are my lamp; the Lord turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall. As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he causes me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You make your saving help my shield; your help has made me great. You provide a broad path for my feet, so that my ankles do not give way.
Psalm 16:7-8:  I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Psalm 25:5:  Lead me; teach me; for you are the God who gives me salvation. I have no hope except in you.
Psalm 42:1  As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.
Psalm 62:5-8  Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.
Proverbs 3:5-6  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Isaiah 43: 18-19  Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.
Jeremiah 29:11-13a,  “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord.
Matthew 11:28-30  Come to me and I will give you rest — all of you who work so hard beneath a heavy yoke. Wear my yoke — for it fits perfectly — and let me teach you; for I am gentle and humble, and you shall find rest for your souls.
Matthew 19:26  Jesus said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
John 8:12  When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
John 10:10  Jesus said, “My purpose is to give life in all its fullness.”
Romans 12:2  Don’t let the world around you squeeze you into its own mold, but let God remake you so that your whole attitude of mind is changed.
1 Corinthians 3:7-9  It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow. The one who plants and the one who waters work together with the same purpose. And both will be rewarded for their own hard work. For we are both God’s workers. And you are God’s field. You are God’s building.
2 Corinthians 4:7-8  But this precious treasure — this light and power that now shine within us — is held in a perishable container, that is, in our weak bodies. Everyone can see that the glorious power within must be from God and is not our own. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed and broken. We are perplexed because we don’t know why things happen as they do, but we don’t give up and quit.
Ephesians 4:23  Now your attitudes and thoughts must be all constantly changing for the better. Yes, you must be a new and different person.
Philippians 1:6  God who began the good work within you will keep right on helping you grow in his grace until his task within is finally finished.
Philippians 4:13 
For I can do everything God asks me to with the help of Christ who gives me the strength and the power.